Another day, another book. Seems like chronic insomnia is good for something. Spinderella choose ‘Saving Noah’ by Lucinda Berry and Oh My God do I have an opinion on this one. Check the trigger warnings below please because this book isn’t for the faint of heart. Also, this review might contain spoilers; I did my best not to but I can’t review it without. I didn’t spoil much though.

Trigger warnings: Sexual Assault on minors, Attempted Suicide, Rape, Assisted Suicide.

This book gave me some very vivid not so fun night terrors on attempted suicide and has brought me close to tears while reading how the story unfolds.

Adrienne has the picture-perfect family situation, a house in a good neighborhood, a doting husband that works hard but is also present for his kids, a son that is an absolute athlete and A+ student and a daughter that everybody loves. That picture-perfect ideal will come crumbling down when Noah, the son tells her he molested two girls in the Pee-Wee swim league he coached. His dad stopped talking to him al together and Adrienne called the parents of the girls over to tell them.

What I’m wondering is; Would you? If your son came to you and told you, would you invite the parents of the girls over to tell them what happened? The parents of the kids in question didn’t know, the girls didn’t tell them. While telling them what happened and explicitly telling them no penetration took place, ‘just touching’, the parents stormed out. A day later the police were there to pick Noah up of his arrest.

With no lawyer in town wanting to represent him, they searched a bit further; finding someone way to expensive and not very clean looking but with knowledge and trying his very best to get Noah a Juvenile trail instead of being tried as an adult. When that’s a success Noah needs to rehabilitate and get counsel for 18 months at a center that specializes with young people that have been tried for SA. After 18 months, he should be fixed. Healed from his urge. Or so they thought.

18 months of barely speaking about Noah and just a couple of days until Adrienne gets to pick him up; but Lucas doesn’t want him in their house. He doesn’t trust Noah around their daughter. He suggests Adrienne rent an apartment for her and Noah to live. No sleepovers with Katie though.
When she finally gets to bring Noah home, he’s only a shell of his former self. Gone is the confident boy; the only thing remaining is a depressed and self-loathing boy. Just wanting to end it all, end his suffering and make the world a saver place again without him in it.

When Adrienne finds him dangling of the patio outdoor, hanged. He survived though, but the intend is clear. With him on suicide watch on the psych ward, playing to everyone’s tune just so he can get out again and try another time. He asks his mom the hardest question ‘Will you help me?’

Will she?

There was like a tiny little twist in the end, one I did expect but still, this story… Oh my god. I’ve finished it in a night but the feels will forever be with me.

This is a solid ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ star read.